


you close your eyes and the glory fades

by secretfeanorian



Series: the worst things in life come free to us [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Maglor is ashamed of his heritage, braiding, hair stuff, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 05:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1592594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretfeanorian/pseuds/secretfeanorian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am not ashamed of my family, he says, but even he doesn't believe himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you close your eyes and the glory fades

**Author's Note:**

> I went and looked back over this after I’d finished it and remembered that in ‘til kingdom come, I had Maglor give the name Macalaurë, not Maglor, and by this, Thor should already know who Maglor is. Let’s just pretend he was in Asgard by that point and doesn’t show up again throughout ‘til kingdom come and he doesn’t look at the news much, so he doesn’t know yet.

_And they will deem me king on a throne of ash and rubble as steel and stone bow before me in piety. Instead of petals I will have it rain embers as the realm twists and quakes and burns, and burning it shall remain; as bright as my crown.  
_

* * *

At this point, he doesn’t even know why he’s even surprised anymore. Strange things are a regular occurrence in the life he’s found himself in. Yet, for some reason, he still finds himself surprised every time. When the psychopath they’re fighting this week says something about Maglor being the last of a royal house, he doesn’t think twice about it.  
  
In fact, he doesn’t think about it at all until Tony blocks the way to the elevator and demands to know what psychopath of week 15 of the year had meant by that. It takes Maglor a few minutes to even realize what the billionaire is talking about and when he does, he sighs and raises an eyebrow as if to ask you really want to talk about this now?  
  
Tony doesn’t back down, and so Maglor says “My grandfather’s name was Finwë.”  
  
“You expect us to know what,” Tony starts, but is cut off by Thor’s incredulous “the first high king of the Noldor!”  
  
There’s no shutting Tony up now and he bursts out, “High king?! How much have you been holding out on us?”  
  
Maglor looks straight at Thor, dreading the response he knows he will get if he explains further and can’t find the courage to continue. As it turns out, he doesn’t have to because the next thing said is by Sam and he says “Does this have anything to do with feanorians?”  
  
“You are a son of Feanaro?” Thor asks before anyone else can speak and Maglor silently nods.  
  
“I am Macalaurë,” he says, “And no, Stark before you ask, I have no claim to the high kingship of the Noldor. My father was born the crown prince, but a few decades or so after he died, my older brother waivered the kingship to our half-uncle Nolofinwë and it was (and still would be if there was any kingdom left to rule) passed down through his line after his death.”  
  
The room is silent for a few minutes, then Tony breaks it by saying, “But you’re still royalty?” Maglor nods cautiously, slightly nervous of where Tony might be going with this. “Ha, royalty can like me!” Tony crows and Maglor smiles.  
  
He has a sarcastic response ready to be fired, but he decides to hold the sarcasm back for once and just smiles and says “Of course I like you, Tony. You’re annoying as hell sometimes, sure, but I’ve got loads of practice with loving the obnoxious ones.”  
  
He thinks Tony isn’t sure what to do with that comment, for all his sarcastic cover-up. Maglor doesn’t call him out on his bluff. He doesn’t see any reason to.  
  
He thinks that that conversation was the last of it, but he couldn’t have been more wrong and in the next few weeks, he watches Thor watch him curiously until Maglor finally confronts him and then Thor quietly asks him about Maitimo. When Maglor asks him why he’s so curious, he stares at the ground and unnaturally quiet, he whispers that Loki had seen the eldest feanorian as a hero and Loki had been fascinated with the story of Feanaro’s family as a youth.  
  
Maglor doesn’t ask any more and even though talking about Maitimo hurts, he tells Thor about his brother. When he’s finished and gone to bed, the ache in his soul doesn’t seem quite as gapping.  
  
It doesn’t take much longer than that for Tony to start calling him ‘your royal highness’ and Maglor thinks once upon a time, he might have been annoyed by it, but this is the real world and he is genuinely amused by it, even if not quite as much as Tony himself.  
  
They manage to keep the truth of that part of his background from the media, thank goodness, but after a few months, the thought begins to weigh heavily on him and the next time someone asks him if he’s technically a high king, his answer is no longer _my house is dispossessed_ , but _there’s no kingdom left so how can there be a king?_ His house is still dispossessed, he knows this, but it weighs less on him after he changes the answer in his mind.  
  
“Thor’s more of royalty then I am,” he says one day when Tony’s at it again, “Firstly because he still has a kingdom to be royalty over, but mostly because from the moment he was born, he was to eventually take the crown.”  
  
“And you weren’t?” Natasha asks, not bothering to disguise the curiosity in her voice and Maglor shakes his head.  
  
“I am Quendi,” he says, “Quendi were created to live forever. My father was born as first in the line for the throne, but there wasn’t a single Quendi who actually expected him to become high king. The thought that I, as the second son of the crown prince, would ever hold the crown was one that never crossed anyone’s mind.” He stops and stares into the distance, lost in his thoughts for a few minutes. “Course, the irony of that is I did end up holding the crown, for 35 or so years while Maitimo was-” He coughs and doesn’t finish.  
  
No one presses him to, but when he leaves the room, he hears Thor quietly explaining the general details of what had happened to Maitimo. He can’t summon any hard feelings against Thor for that and just ends up feeling grateful that he now didn’t have to explain the circumstances that had led to him acting as high king of the Noldor in exile.  
  
Tony stops calling him ‘your royal highness’ after that though. He’s not sure how he feels about that. He decides he’s indifferent about it and continues on with life. No one mentions his royal blood or even his family at all until Tony shimmies up to him one day and asks if his father had really made glowy crystals. Maglor stares at him for a few minutes and then bursts out laughing. When he finally gets himself under control, he tells Tony that yes, his father had actually made ‘glowy crystals’ (and what he did over them), but no, he didn’t know exactly how it had been done. Tony pouts, but the slight tension in the air is gone and Maglor hadn’t even noticed it was there, but now that it’s gone, it becomes easier to breathe.  
  
Tony starts talking about family and royalty again and after a week of that, Maglor draws his extended family tree from Finwë down to Aragorn 11 on the kitchen floor overnight to spite Tony. Tony isn’t annoyed by it, but Maglor isn’t annoyed by that. He’s brought on enough annoyance and similar emotions in his lifetime. He doesn’t protest when Tony and surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) Thor drag him into a discussion about the politics of the Noldor and the Quendi that lasts for hours.  
  
When Maglor and Thor are leaving Tony to his tinkering the next day, Thor grabs Maglor’s arm and says quietly, “You shouldn’t be ashamed of your family.”  
  
Maglor wishes he could honestly say he’s not, but the only honest thing he can do is to say, “I try.” Thor squeezes his arm once, then he lets go and continues walking. Maglor watches him leave, not moving and not saying anything. He doesn’t move again for another few minutes after Thor has left the floor. (when he asks JARVIS later, the AI tells him he’d been standing there for approximately 30 minutes)  
  
He goes to the roof. He sits for another 30 minutes or so, and then reaches up to run his fingers through his hair thoughtfully. “I am not ashamed of my family,” he says and winces at the emotionless tone it comes out in. He twists a group of hairs around his left pointer finger. “I am **not** ashamed of my family,” he says again and this time manages not to wince. It’s a start. “I am not ashamed of my family,” he says a third time and this time it almost sounds sincere. He opens his mouth to repeat the phrase again, but something stops him. He’s not sure what. He doesn’t close his mouth, but he does change what comes out of it this time. “I am a feanorian,” he says, “But first I am a finwëan. A feanorian is a finwëan.”  
  
“The House of Feanor did some terrible things,” he whispers, “I did some terrible things. But I am a finwëan before I am a feanorian. I am here and I am alive. I survived the curse to live in this day and age.”  
  
“I am not the man I used to be and I will never be him again,” he says softly to the clouds, “But that’s alright.” _I am still a grandson of Finwë._ He thinks as he braids his hair into the almost-forgotten style that marks him as a member of the Noldorian royal family.  
  
“I am not ashamed of my family.” He says aloud and this time, he believes it.


End file.
